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yup Jun. 1st, 2005 @ 10:18 pm

I am so lucky...
not gonna be on here much, but i love you...
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: jim nothing, hand to hand, minusmythoughts, brand new

Ada, shows, CA, and me being retard...news at 11 May. 26th, 2005 @ 03:48 pm
Hey...
I'm going to Ada again this weekend. I miss Boyd quite a bit but we're working out fine. IDK what we're gonna do this weekend, but I'm sure it'll be amazing.
We're moving pretty fast to be honest. But I want this and so did he. If you know what I mean. hahahah... I post that because it's serious. We're serious. It's a good thing because I didn't really like dating.
I'm going to the TAI concert on 6/3, that's exciting. Then on 6/4 there's a Jim Nothing show at the Showroom in the city. If you wanna come you totally should... The Weeping Tree and Skies Fallen will be there. All those bands are on myspace so go... www.myspace.com/jim nothing, www.myspace.com/theweepingtree, www.myspace.com/skiesfallen
If you need any details I can get you the info on the show and all that neat stuff. There's also a benefit concert at Bricktown Live on 6/18, tix are $15, but there's like 15 bands. I'll post a flyer if I think about it. You can buy tix from me or any of the bands participating.
The CA trip is coming up soon. I'm nervous as hell. I don't want to ride on a plane.
I think all that covered me being retarded, so... Seacrest Out?
Current Mood: crazycrazy
Current Music: sophomore, jim nothing, brand new, emery

May. 23rd, 2005 @ 08:22 pm
I'm bored.
The internet is always on.
I take stupid quizzes and make my myspace look weird.
I am bored.
But other than that, my weekend was amazing...
Ada is lovely...with many ppl who I love there. Those friends mean everything to me...
Boyd and I are wonderful.
.Love.
Yeah, he is...everything to me.
A few more years.
A few more miles.
.Wait.
I'll be there when you wake up.
Current Mood: giddygiddy
Current Music: mourning september, halifax, TAI, brand new, JN

dizamn. May. 16th, 2005 @ 03:33 pm
WHOOT!
I am happy.
Just thought I'd tell everybody.
I get to go to Cali from the 7th until the 15th of June. That ROCKS.
Um, Boyd Weldon Gross II is a horrible name, but he's the best damned boyfriend ever.
...love or almost like it...
crazy kids, but possibly

.this. is the happiest I've been in years.

Must find job soon...
Must enroll for next semester...
Current Mood: determineddetermined
Current Music: hand to hand, jim nothing, from first to last, emery

May. 11th, 2005 @ 02:09 am
as most of you know, the only reason i sign on to this anymore is so that ppl on my myspace won't see it.
namely boyd.
and the reason is... i don't wanna gush about him to where he can see it because i don't want him to think i'm nuts even though i am.
however
he's wonderful/amazing, really, i don't know how to describe it other than:
i am more happy now than i have ever been
i'm not saying this to gloat or rub it in anyone's face, i'm just saying it because life can be beautiful.
no it doesn't take some boy/girl to make it beautiful, but it helps.
for so long i got in this mindset that ppl sucked and it was no use trying to believe in them. but now, it's obvious... believe in your friends, your family, who ever is special to you because they'll believe in you right back. and that's beautiful and life is beautiful.
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: jim nothing, lovehatehero, halifax, tbs
Other entries
» i find this funny
Your Suicide.. by Konstantine
Your Name/Username
Favorite Number?
Favorite Color?
Gender?
How will you commit suicide?You will stab a knife through your heart
How many tries will it take?1
When will you commit suicide?September 22, 2045
What will your suicide note say?Life is Love. Love is painful. Yet suicide is swift and sweet
Quiz created with MemeGen!

» yesterday was 5/5/5 and
Pam bagged herself a keeper.
Hopefully a keeper.
He makes me so happy it's retarded
which makes me retarded.
My smiling face x87,000
It's good to be with someone who wants to be with you...
I love everything.
for more reasons than the just being happy with Boyd thing.
Also because my friends are amazing and I miss them.
okay, I'll be on my way.
» ...zombies...
oh and Check this out
Right now, go.
ZOMBIES!!!
» yeah
and then i remembered that when something amazing happens so does something shitty
and the shitty is usually started by me and my mind
and how i freak out for no reason and how i wonder if i'll ever let myself be happy
and i like him morethanfour and i'd love to be w/him
and it'd be for as long as possible
and he told me that's what he wanted but i
» (No Subject)
His name is Boyd.
He's amazing.
And...tomorrow I will let you know, but something might happen.
A talk is to be had, or something.
Staying w/him the 4th and 5th.
Life is stellar.
» incognito
so yeah.
because he's awesome and amazing, and those are understatements.
he called me after i'd been in town no more than 20 minutes.
he bought me lunch. and he's still doing it w/o me knowing.
he played guitar a lot. and sang. and that was beautiful. next to me the entire time.
he even played me happy birthday.
we went to WM.
we hung out at his house forever. his friends are awesome.
honestly i don't remember the rest of friday. i just know it ended at 1-ish with a hug.
saturday was better. i didn't wake up till 12, then kim came home at 2 and we went out for a while. at around 6 or 7 we went over to his house even though he wasn't there and talked to the other ppl. then he called me and he came back.
we ate at taco bell, which he paid for...makes me feel guilty. it was cute and we talked a lot.
ended up going back to his house and watching office space and willow. let the cuddling ensue. the cute kind too, not the awkward kind. it was absolutely inspiring.
the good bye lasted quite some time. at 3:30 kim decided that we should go home, we actually didn't leave till 5:30 and I fell asleep at 6:30 this morning. for two hours i talked to this guy next to my car. about theory, family, friends, school, work, my book, everything. it was cold and we were hugging and we had an audience b/c we have dumb friends. for this reason, we decided not to kiss. we called it a war... our friends came out first. we won. then they went in and we still didn't. although there was no kiss, i am to blame. that whole 90/10 theory...yeah, well i was tired all right and the moment just wasn't right. not him, the moment. does that make sense? so i didn't kiss him, i want to wait and he was all right w/that apparently. instead he just kissed the side of my head or neck. i left again with a hug. not complaining.
» incognito
I talked to him for hours.
About nothing and about a lot of stuff.
We made plans.
For next week and weeks from now.
I don't know what's going on.
I don't know if we're going anywhere in a relationship sense.
I really don't know if he even wants one.
Maybe we should talk about that.
When I mention stuff about liking him and all that, he doesn't say much.
He acts surprised and kinda walks around it.
It's hard to explain.
Of course what I say is kinda... funny/not serious.
IDK.
I like him. morethanfour
» just kidding
incognito

yes, i like a new boy
no, i don't think it will go anywhere
yes, he's prolly the best guy ever
no, i don't think i'm good enough for him
yes, we met on myspace
no, i don't think that's weird
yes, i met him for real at a show
no, i don't think it's weird to like him
yes, i will stay w/him on the 4th and 5th
no, i don't think that will mean anything
yes, it's morethanfour
no, it's not cool

i've talked to him, but nothing awesome recently. we've both been kinda busy. i'm not giving up like i thought i would have by now. he's very... i like him. i should talk to him more. he needs a cell phone. i need to see him again, well he needs to see me again. wow, he's really old, but better than me dating some 17 and 18 year olds. when you've dated too many of those a 23 year old does seem old. i blame myspace.
» well crap
incognito still

either he's dumb or avoiding this. he just started talking about his other guitarist and how much better the other one was than him. which is funny b/c i met him through his other guitarist. we talked a bunch today so that was awesome. he was supposed to call, but got hung up at work or something, he apologized and it was just strange.

he's very... proper. i know that seems weird, but he opens doors and says "please" and "thank you." not the best on the internet, but he's really good about replying and crap like that. which is good considering he lives a ways away. He has excellent English and we talk about books, theory, religion, myths...

i say it's only an hour, but then i remember i'm not even w/him. that he may not even want anything. then i remember that i can't give up.

i am so terrified of this. eek! so awesome though.
» holy crap
incognito for a reason...

that guy is amazing.
he says the things i want to hear, but in a way that is genuine. i could be wrong here, but this is someone i want something with. if he'd have me, i'd keep him for a while.

i told him i liked him. let's see how that goes. i won't know till morning. watch me w/the let down again. but i'm tired of this high school bullshit where you like each other and never say it. we're not in high school, why not get the shitty part out of the way?

i'm supposed to stay with him in early may, i know that seems weird, but i'm going to a couple of his shows. it's easier this way. he offered and it was not an awkward thing. idk this whole situation is hard to explain without spelling out every detail.

however, i like him. wish me luck.

and i am sick w/a cold.
» so i don't usually post on here...
...but i'm trying to go incognito and this way i can post without worrying who is seeing it.
and this is vague still, but i just want to write...

i met a boy.
this is crazy b/c i really like him, for all the right reasons too. i just...
it's weird to actually like someone, and actually like everything about them. i mean, this sounds peculiar, i know, but it's just... astonishing.
i guess i had forgotten that there are ppl out there like him.
he is definitely a breathe of fresh air.
and i'm not afraid to think it anymore. at first, i had my doubts and valid ones at that, but when i stopped worrying and allowed myself to let go i realized that i could really be missing out by not feeling this.
this boy is something i thought didn't exist. sure, he's not perfect, no one is, but it's easy to see something in him. it's easy to see something real.

don't jump to any conclusions though, i could be really wrong about this. we haven't really talked about whether or not this could work out, but from the initial moments... i want it to. and not just, "hey let's be some fickle couple of weeks" relationship like the last few guys i've liked. no, this is a boy i'd want to stay with for as long as possible. oddly enough, this is what i've been looking for.

watch me screw it up...
» i have forsaken you
sorry live journal, i love you, but i'm not in love w/you
i've left you for myspace and he's the only one for me
i can't sell myself out to the internet in more ways than one...
myspace is my way keeping in touch w/friends now
and google is my search engine (tell yahoo i apologize for telling him earlier)
we had some good time though, i mean, you brought me to myspace and for that i am forever grateful
good luck in everything you do, i'll check you every once in a while...
<3pam
» i had to...
marijuana



You are Marijuana!


Laid back, dreamy, and maybe a little stinky from skipping a shower.

You rather hang out on the couch watching That 70s Show than go clubbing.

All you need is a big joint, TV, and some Twinkies covered in chocolate syrup!



What Drug Are You?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

» campout
for all you LJ kids who don't check my myspace here are "the pictures from campout."























<3 you guys!
» OMG... LAME
Help me. Help me. Help me.
I don't who I am or where I am.
Help me out of this.
I need you.

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